“Getting Real”

Trying to live in the moment with limitations as a 66-year-old woman ain’t easy. The performing, book signings, marketing, and writing take stamina. Sometimes, my chronic pain level gets the better of me. I don’t like pain meds; I use water walking, regular exercise, along with dancing and some Qigong. I find my true nature as an introvert requires regulars intervals of quiet, alone time to navigate the emotional challenges of the complex demands of traffic, automated receptionists, and online workshops/business. Resetting my brain with Feldenkrais classes and music changing my Alpha and Beta waves to calm Theta waves helps. Humor helps.

In a Grace and Frankie Netflix episode — okay, I’m binging on the series because it makes me laugh, and it’s honest — shows Grace taking off her makeup and revealing her ice-packed bum knee to her new male friend.

Sometimes, I don’t wear makeup. Do I look better with makeup? Of course I do, but how trivial compared to living with a temporary or permanent disability.

Unfortunately, the perception of me by a lot of people shrinks when they learn about my sciatic pain, or I don’t wear makeup. I can feel their potential and expectation meter drop to the floor. I’m sure I’m not unique in this regard.

I am an intelligent, vital woman. I could NOT talk about what goes on behind the scenes, ever, but I want to be real. The illusion of limitless youth be damn.I’ve earned my wrinkles through a life well lived. I do have in my favor wisdom, a disciplined will, and a thing called muscle memory, an intuitive sense of how the body works, from my dance training.

Now, how do I want to spend the rest of my life? Naysayers, look out. Here I come…right after I take a nap.